Sitting at my computer thinking about the news of the day, the Blair resignation (pretty old stuff), the Dow falls more than 100 points at mid-day (does it really matter when the United States housing slump appears to be much worse), England getting ready for the Test against the West Indies ( sadly gone are the days of Viv Richards), I am watching my Chocolate Labrador swimming in the pool. What a life! So I thought if I had to write a list of 5 things that annoy me about this fellow for the Pro-Blogger Group Writing Project I could watch him doing his laps and have a break at the same time
1. Dog Breath can be overpowering at times, i.e. the stinky breath syndrome or tuna breath as we so fondly call it at the office. Of course, this does not stop dogs from lavishing those doggy breath kisses and for reasons beyond our comprehension we keep asking for more.
2. Drinking out the toilet – Aside from fresh water at all times, even with ice cubes in his bowl at times, my dog must check to see if someone forgot and the seat is left invitingly up. Most houses have books, baskets filled with soap, and pretty pictures in their guest bathrooms. Not in mine – simply a sign posted saying please put the seat down so the dog does not have a midnight cocktail.
3. Gets more press coverage, gets better rankings in the search engines and gets more publicity than the average Blogger – (I am talking about me here not Darren Rowse). Recently the Naples Daily News, my local newspaper featured my dog on the cover of the Business Section on a Friday when the newspaper gets a good number of readers. I was ready to telephone my family and friends, comb my hair and even put on a clean pair of jeans for a photo opportunity – and what happens, my dog is featured. He is now waiting for calls from the Wall Street Journal and Financial Times.
4. Looks better at the beach – no matter the weather or how many times my dog goes romping in the waves he always gets more attention and looks far, far better than I could ever do. With sand on his nose and a very wet coat people always come up and play with him. If people acted as dogs do on the beach they would either be commited to the nearest looney bin or their friends and family would make believe they did not know them. Oh, it is a dog’s life!
5. Has his own personal servant – ME! I keep dreaming of having a very clean house all the time, not just every second Tuesday of the month if there was a full moon the night before, having all the shopping done for those gourmet dinners that a phantom cook would be preparing for all my guests and having all meals served on time. A chauffeur would be lovely for a very clean SUV as would a gardener to keep the grass in prime condition for all those games, croquet perhaps, not chase the neighbor’s dog to get a frisbee. These are dreams of mine but NOT my dog’s – this is his world.